


The Ghosthunter of Nekoma

by the_only_iris



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Ghosts, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_iris/pseuds/the_only_iris
Summary: ［Ｇｈｏｓｔｈｕｎｔｅｒ！ Ｋｅｎｍａ ｘ Ｈａｎｙｏｕ！ Ｒｅａｄｅｒ］: Ever since you were born, things weren't going your way. Being able to jump in and out of your body as a spirit might have sounded cool in theory, but in reality, you were just target practice for other spirits to take advantage of. Just when you thought you could get accustomed to living a regular life, meeting the ghosthunter of Nekoma turned your life around to a complete 360.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 89





	1. c h a p t e r - o n e

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Noragami obv. Let me know what you think!

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒;  
𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡-𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒**

*****

There were over nine million people in Tokyo. However, only a handful of them was unfortunate enough to be called _hanyou_.

You were one of those unfortunate souls.

The night was pitch-black and moonless on the day you were born. There was no heavy gust of wind, there was no storm—the lights were out at your grandmother's home, you were apparently upside down inside your mother's uterus, a sign that things were not normal, and yet, the worst part of it all was how you were perceived _after_ you were born. 

Not a sound out of you; you were born asleep. Almost as if the world's chaos did nothing to wake your soul. You were sleeping so soundly, one could wonder what even caused the birth. Were you sleeping because you were content? Were you sleeping because you were aware of what the world was to offer you? 

It was three years later did they realize why. It was because you could see spirits, and you could exit your own body as a spirit, whenever you pleased. While this new ability proved to be interesting indeed, the maiden from your mother's shrine convinced you that this power was evil. A human being was not to exit their body whenever they pleased, the spirit world was not to be accessed like that, it was not a welcome area and they definitely did not welcome tourists. While you believed they were marking your ability as something you had to fear, it only worked when they told you about ghosthunters.

Ghosthunters lived to exterminate the living world of ghosts. As simple as this job sounded, its similarities to exorcism scared you since you had the ability to become a ghost whenever you pleased. It wasn't that you could control this ability really well, only when you're allowed to use an ability could you learn to control it, however, the maiden from the shrine did assist in keeping this unfortunate ability of yours under wraps. Tying a sacred magatama around your wrist was one way, which you were specially allowed to wear despite being in school. So, whatever the fear was, as long as the magatama was around your wrist, you were just a regular human being. 

You laughed and lived through your middle school years, avoiding the area of sports because you couldn't dare displace the beaded bracelet around your wrist. Despite it all, despite your unfortunate ability that you were forced not to ever use, you were happy—a teenager living the life of a teenager, away from any ghosthunter that might deem you a threat.

Apparently, hanyou were not particularly welcome by the ghosthunter race. They weren't a race per se, but the spiritual affinity that hanyou had despite being human beings was something that they considered impure, and anything impure needed to be severed. It wasn't that they were allowed to kill hanyou for just being hanyou, but they were indeed allowed to sever your ties with the spirit world; and because your grandmother, the Miko of the shrine your mother had belonged to before marriage, had never told you about what this severing would do to your psyche, you were cautious enough to listen to her about wearing the magatama around your wrist at all costs.

You were thankful that she did tell how of how vengeful spirits might take advantage of your hanyou self, and jump into your body when you were out and make use of this chance to wreak havoc. The thought of an external spirit inhabiting your body made you nauseous even as a child, so following a cautious lifestyle was rather stringent for you.

Everything was fine and dandy until your third day in Nekoma high school. 

Your new friend, Katagiri Mimi, had a desperately pathetic crush on one of the volleyball players and had forced you along to the gym to watch them play. Despite having a strict rule to never go within ten yards of any sport, Mimi-chan was rather forceful that day since Morisuke-senpai was just amazing at everything he did. Perhaps, you were standing too close to where they were playing that you didn't realize a ball was approaching your head. Perhaps, your habit of playing with the beads around your wrist finally had the beads snapping exactly at the moment you needed them most. 

Perhaps, it was fate that it happened the way it did; you could never tell.

"(y/n)-chan!" Mimi screeched, but you could see her. 

You stared at her as she looked down and screamed at what looked like your body. You let out a terrifying sigh at the sight of the broken magatama, before wondering what your grandmother would say at how easily your soul slipped out of your body right then. You tried to remember how you would jump back into your body as a child, but seeing your unconscious body right then gave you full access to how your hair actually looked like from another person's point of view. It was tempting to stay outside for just a few moments longer, but it was then a person's gaze burned so hard into your soul that you froze.

People weren't _supposed_ to see you.

Yes, you remembered this fact quite clearly. Only spirits could see spirits. And since you were a spirit right then, that meant only spirits could see you.

You gulped. There was one _other_ race that could see you in your spirit form.

You looked up toward the volleyball net and noticed two cat-like eyes glaring at your form, eyes wide and gaze sharp, boring into your skull. Your breath was stuck in your throat as this boy glared the daylight out of you, making you wonder what in the world was going on but the answer was screaming into your face as you watched how his gaze was unwavering. Yes, only spirits could see spirits, but...

...so could ghosthunters.

Taking a deep breath, you jumped on your body but failed to enter yourself again. Mimi was crying now, and the entire volleyball team had huddled around your unconscious form. You had no idea what to do, but this blond boy's gaze had petrified you to the spot. _What the hell should I do!?_ You screamed within your own mind before thinking of the least rational yet the only idea your mind could come up with. 

You turned to the possible ghosthunter and screamed, "What the hell should I do?!"

His eyes widened just a tad bit before he looked away, almost as if he no longer could see you. You knew he was just ignoring you, you knew he was doing this just to make sure your spirit self stayed out of your body so that when everyone was away, he could come to chop you into little ghost pieces and end your miserable life. You were shaking now, and you were certain that your lower lip was quivering.

"Come on, ghosthunter-kun! I have no idea how to get back to my body!"

"Take her to the infirmary." The ghosthunter said, lowly, before everyone agreed. 

A tall pale-haired individual picked you up, but you were right there. The entire volleyball team seemed to disperse, as one first-year whose name you remembered began with an 'I' started to apologize profusely. Mimi's crying could be heard all over the corridor, and now you were alone with the ghosthunter.

"You really can't hear me or—"

In one quick movement, you were pinned to the ground with something cold and sharp on your neck. As a spirit, you wouldn't feel things hit you but you could feel this boy touch you, pin you to the ground, and his weird looking tiny katana was pressing to your neck. You were scared it was drawing blood. Your eyes welled up with tears and he paused, just for a moment, before narrowing his eyes.

"I should kill you before you change my mind."

"W-What?" You were crying, _just great_ , "What makes you think I can change your mind?! Y-You're practically pressing this baby katana to my neck!"

His eyebrow twitched with apparent annoyance, "It's a tanto."

"O-Okay..." You cried, tears leaking out of your eyes.

He looked at you as you cried, your cries increasing with intensity with each passing second. He was actually a tad bit cute if you looked closer, his hair was a funny shade, but it suited him strangely. He was wearing the Nekoma practice jersey and even though he was sweaty, he looked like he could snap you in half like a twig, despite the tiny frame he adorned so well. While his features were screaming at you, your heart was palpitations, even though you were sure you had no heart. A moment later, he pulled the tanto away before releasing you. You cried harder now, before sitting back up. 

"You really have no idea how to get back to your body?"

You shook your head, "Are you really a ghosthunter?"

He chose to ignore you. "They'll think you're dead, you know. It was just a volleyball that hit your head. You should get back."

You stared at him in awe, "Aren't you supposed to kill me?"

He offered you a cheeky grin before saying, "I kill ghosts that threaten peace. The most you can threaten is a fly."

While you knew you had to feel offended by his remark, what you felt was absolute elation. You stood up right away, fighting the urge to hug this ghosthunter for sparing your life before you saw the tanto vanishing from his hands. You were confused as to what a ghosthunter was doing in the middle of Tokyo, especially in a school like Nekoma, but those questions were for later.

"Do you have any idea what I can do?"

He shrugged before looking at you nonchalantly, "Nope. You're lucky I found you, if it was any other ghosthunter, things would have been different."

While you were indeed curious as to what 'different' meant, since your grandmother never had explicitly told you what the fate of hanyou were at the hands of ghosthunters, you knew you had to get back to your body. Mimi was quite practically terrified of volleyballs by now, and her crush on Morisuke-senpai would have been entirely eradicated from the blatant display of how weak your composition was. However, just as you walked away, you felt the ghosthunter clear his throat.

"It's not safe for you," He said, "To be the way you are."

Your eyes widened at what he said before biting your lower lip, convincing yourself that speaking to your grandmother was your best bet before doing literally anything else. You walked toward the infirmary where your body was, and the entire volleyball team stood outside waiting to hear about your fate. While the school nurse did confusedly tell them you were breathing fine and were simply unconscious and even she couldn't understand why you weren't waking up.

You held your own hand before shutting your eyes and feeling warm all of a sudden. A moment later, you woke up.

"(y/n)-chan! Oh my god!" 

Mimi crushed you with a hug, and everyone cheered. However, your heart was the one that felt a little bit broken. _It's not safe for me? What does he mean?_ You stared at your now empty wrist before feeling for the first time that your grandmother had conveniently missed out on telling you something.


	2. c h a p t e r - t w o

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑜  
𝑑𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑛**

*****

The nurse ended up giving you an entire bottle of electrolytes. The only reason you could lose consciousness from a volleyball hitting you on your head was simply because you were apparently not eating right, which you only ended up agreeing with despite knowing the actual reason. Mimi's crying face was a bit funny, but you weren't going to laugh at her. You stared at your now empty wrist before feeling dread settle in your lower stomach. You felt nauseous now when you thought of the trek that led to your grandmother's shrine, but it wasn't your grandmother that scared you.

It was the other maiden from the shrine; the one who had given you the _magatama_ in the first place.

Sato Fujie was a good friend of your grandmother's, old enough to be your grandmother too, but she didn't really like being called that. As one of the oldest Miko in the shrine, she had every right to order you around because you were hanyou. 

"I was so scared!" Mimi most definitely was. You didn't doubt that.

All you could do was offer her a helpless smile before muttering to her that you needed to head home. She understood right away and some of the boys from the club suggested that they'd even walk you home, but no, you weren't that exhausted. You could walk home yourself and you wanted the fresh air and the alone time. You looked toward the boys and noticed that the ghosthunter wasn't around, which meant that he hadn't left the gym at all ever since your departure. You didn't know if he spared your life or if he had left you off on a warning; what was your modus operandi now? What were you to do? Did you have to tell your grandmother that there's a ghosthunter in Nekoma?

*

"There are ghosthunters everywhere, you bird brain!" Sato screamed into your ear as she pinched at the end of it.

You had tears leaking out of your eyes now with how forceful she was being. Making a magatama that could keep your soul intact took days, and in those days, you were just as helpless as a newly born fawn in a field full of hungry lions. Her metaphors always did manage to scare you beyond the actual facts that were being presented, but you turned to your grandmother who watched solemnly. Sato and your grandmother were both Miko, and they wore the traditional attire that included a red hakama, a white kimono robe, and their hair tied with red hair ribbons. Sato particularly took more caution with her appearance, dying her hair black almost every week and attempting to look younger than she was. Your grandmother, on the other hand, embraced her age.

It was then the ghosthunter's voice rang in your head. His words had confused you, and now you couldn't hold back anymore.

"He told me that it's not safe for me the way I am. It's not like I can do anything about it, right?"

Sato and your grandmother both didn't answer. This proved that they knew something you didn't, or that there was something there that they were not telling you. This hesitance made you want to press on. You narrowed your eyes before looking Sato straight in the eye.

"Sato-sama," You said carefully, "What happens if a ghosthunter severs my ties with the spirit world?"

"We told you already! They sever your ties with the spirit world, and that's it." Sato said, aggressively.

 _What...?_ Something definitely didn't feel right. 

"Will that kill me?"

Your grandmother's look hardened. Your heart dropped, and you were confused with what they were not telling you.

"He didn't do it," You pressed on, "He let me go and just told me it isn't safe for me the way I am. If he had used his tanto on me, what would have happened?"

"(y/n)," It was your grandmother who spoke this time, "Let it go."

 _No_ , you thought but Sato was already getting up to go make the _magatama_. You looked at Sato's back as she walked away, almost helplessly, before turning to your grandmother and giving her a pleading look. Your grandmother sighed before running her hand through your hair and placing the same hand against your cheek. You could feel how wrinkled she was, and you wanted to understand if keeping this a secret even had a reason at all.

"I know there's something else there, obaa-san," You said, pressing your lips together in the end, "Please, tell me so I won't make mistakes after finding out."

"(y/n)," You were hoping she'd say something related to the issue at hand, "The _magatama_ will be ready in a few days. Please, do not remove it this time."

Your heart dropped in the blatant way your grandmother ignored you. You held your breath before picking up your things and just leaving the shrine. You didn't bother to give your grandmother another look, you were angry that they were keeping you in the dark, you were angry because it felt wrong wanting to go look for answers elsewhere. The only choice you had was the ghosthunter whose name you didn't even know.

The next day in school, you wanted to find out where the ghosthunter was. You knew that he wasn't a third-year, and you knew that he wasn't a first-year, which meant he was a second-year. You also knew that Mimi knew some of the second years from the team, and it would rather easy for her to find out who the pudding head was. However, your sudden curiosity might trigger something else in her head and you desperately wanted to avoid that. Therefore, the best way you could find out his name without involving anyone else was by taking a risk. 

You knew that the fourth period, right before lunch was a relatively free hour. Students in your class were allowed to do anything—complete homework, talk to one another by keeping their voices low or even take a nap. It was a strange thing to let students do, but you were grateful for the free hour now more than ever before. Whispering to Mimi that you were going to take a long nap and that you didn't want to be woken up, she nodded furiously before giving you a fake salute. 

Taking a deep breath, you exited your body.

As a hanyou, you always knew that exiting your body was the easiest. Getting back in was the tough part, but that wasn't in your head right then. You took a deep breath before moving through the corridors, checking through each door where the second-year classes were, and trying to spot a familiar ghosthunter. It was in the third class, a rather sharp 2-3, did you spot him. 

His eyes immediately caught hold of your form before glaring at you, and you waved helplessly before quietly walking in. The boy straightened his back from suddenly slouching, and he looked rather anxious as you approached him. You peered into his notebook and noticed that his name was Kenma Kozume, and you grinned to yourself at how your plan had actually worked. 

You shoot him a thumbs up a second later, before whispering, "Thank you, Kozume-kun!"

You heard him let out a groan before you skipped out of class, just going through the door.

Luckily for you, you could get back into your body without a hassle. Mimi apparently hadn't even tried to wake you up, and that had taken just ten minutes so the short nap worked as a perfect excuse. When the class took a break for lunch, you and Mimi walked out casually, with you being personally satisfied over a rather big win. However, you spotted Kenma Kozume, standing ahead of you two, a strange look in his eye.

"Need to talk." Was all he said, avoiding your gaze.

Mimi narrowed her eyes together before murmuring, "Why does Kozume-senpai want to talk to you?"

You shrugged before following Kenma, but secretly feeling your stomach drop at the anticipation. Kenma led you toward a corridor in the school where there were relatively fewer people, and he shot you a threatening look.

"You pull that move once again and I'll definitely end you."

You grin helplessly before rubbing the back of your neck, "Sorry. Does it really bother you that much?"

His expression didn't change, "I'm supposed to be hunting ghosts."

That's where you knew your cue was to ask him a question, "Yeah, see, now... That's what I don't understand."

Kenma blinked at you, "What?"

"I'm a _hanyou_ , not a ghost. I can get in and out whenever I want, and it's rather convenient sometimes. I understand that other ghosts can enter my body while I'm away, and that's a legitimate thing to fear, but how am I a threat?"

Kenma looked at you like you were an idiot. You were almost appalled at the gaze he was giving you.

"Didn't anyone tell you that spirits can kill one another?"

_What?_

Your eyes widened at his sudden exclamation, which sounded like he was saying the most casual thing ever. Kenma's face didn't reveal what he was feeling, and if it did, then that meant he was feeling nothing. There was not a tinge of emotion on his face and you didn't know whether to feel worried or relieved that he was looking that way.

"What... I mean... I'm... safe inside my body, right?"

Kenma sighed. He licked his lips before thinking to himself if telling you what he was about to would be the right thing to do. Contemplating his own conflicts on speaking to someone like you, Kenma decided against it.

"It's not my job to educate you."

You were nearly close to pleading. You suddenly grabbed his wrist, shocking him and not noticing the rapid growth of red on his cheeks. 

"Please, Kozume-kun," You said, "I know there's something wrong with what my grandmother and the Miko are hiding from me. I need to know what I am. I need to know why this is happening to me and why I feel so... so different."

Kenma could have empathized with you, he definitely could have. But he was trained to study the various types of ways that ghosts could manipulate people. The first method that ghosts usually used was to get the person to empathize. Strikingly similar to what you were doing right then. He brushed your hand away harshly before clicking his tongue at you.

"If you pull that stunt again," He warned you, "And there's a ghost nearby, I won't be responsible for what happens to you."

"Kozume-kun, I... If you sever my ties to the spirit world, will I die?"

He paused before his expression changed. He blinked at you as he raised his eyebrows. Clearly, whoever raised you had done a brilliant job in keeping you in the dark. Not only did they avoid telling you how much you were in danger, but they also refused to be honest with you about your own nature.

" _Hanyou_ are the way they are because they almost died at some point. If you were born like this then you weren't even supposed to be alive," Kenma's words reverberated in your mind, "Think about that, and maybe you'll get your answer."

"Not supposed to be alive?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

Kenma turned away to leave before letting you rot in your own thoughts. 

Not supposed to be alive.

_Not supposed to be alive._

_Then_ , you turned to walk away but the shaking of your hands was too severe for you to even take another step forward, _Why am I alive at all?_


	3. c h a p t e r - t h r e e

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒  
𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑**

*****

Kozume Kenma dreaded being a ghosthunter.

Not only did it demand that he worked extra hard, but it also gave him less time to be by himself. With volleyball actually interesting him these days, and Kuroo's constant nagging over how he barely paid attention to things with that gaming console in hand, Kenma knew that ghosthunting got in the way of several things that he was missing out on. The ability to see ghosts and spirits was passed down by the women in his family; and Kenma's mother was a ghosthunter, which meant he had to be as well.

It wasn't that he didn't have a choice, it was simply because there were phantoms out there that needed slaying. He had seen what they could do, even though he hadn't personally experienced it. He hadn't lost anyone close to him, no one close to him had been injured by a phantom or a ghost, so there was nothing that drove him to do so. 

It was simply because it was Kenma's duty as part of a ghosthunting family.

And since there were such few numbers of ghosthunters, it wasn't the best thing to just give up on something that he actually considered an art. The only other ghosthunter he had met that was his age was the female manager from Karasuno, but she was all the way in Miyagi, and he was in Tokyo; there was no one he'd met in his area.

However, this was the first time he was meeting a hanyou. Kenma thought of you that morning as he was getting ready, as he wondered why your family had kept you in the dark about your status. Hanyou weren't common, and he was certain that his mother had once told him that as harmless as they were, their status of being half-phantom needed to be severed immediately. He wasn't sure why he didn't do it right away with you, since he hadn't ever met a hanyou before. He wanted to ask his mother, but having that conversation would drain him. 

He was certain that you wouldn't be a problem. You didn't even know how to use your powers in the right way, and you barely knew anything at all. And as far as he saw it, the number of ghosts in and around Nekoma was only a handful. He hadn't witnessed a single phantom emerging in the time that he was there, just a few harmless ghosts that needed an exorcism.

All he knew about hanyou was that they were dangerous if a phantom was around. The difference between phantoms and ghosts were simple; the bad stories surrounding ghosts weren't about ghosts at all, but phantoms. Phantoms tricked humans by offering them something in exchange for something else. They strove to find a human vessel to incorporate so that they wouldn't have to go to the land of the dead. Balance needed to be maintained, his mother told him, and ghosthunters provided that balance. 

The situation with a hanyou, however, was confusing. He knew that severing your ties with the spirit world wouldn't kill you, but he needed to learn why you were a hanyou in the first place before moving forward at all. If there was a source linked to your status as a half-phantom, then severing your ties with the spirit world would prove disastrous. He needed to understand why you were still alive especially when hanyou were supposed to have been dead.

However, that required a lot more effort than he thought it would. There were no phantoms, he believed there hardly existed any, especially in a place like Tokyo, so there was no need to worry.

What he didn't know was that sometimes ants come out from hidden corners when something sweet is exposed. 

Kenma spotted you near your class speaking to your friend that used to eye Yaku-senpai funnily. Not knowing if you were entirely a threat did put him on edge, but it was alright for now. It was back at the end of his first year when he had removed his tanto, and it was now when he had seen you, which meant that things were relatively normal. The special trait about ghosthunter tantos and katanas were that they were indeed magical; they were embedded in the back of his phone and would only enlarge on his command. He had them with him at all times, which was why he had earned the assumption attached to him—Kenma is always on his phone.

When you spotted him, you waved at him, before your hand shrunk downward almost disappointed. He didn't know why you did that, but whatever it was, wasn't his problem. He turned away and headed to class, just before feeling a strange gust of wind flow in the opposite direction. 

He almost gasped when he turned around and saw you had fallen down, or that your body had. Kenma's eyes widened before he instinctively tried to look for your spirit, before having no luck.

"Oh my god! (y/n)-chan!" Your friend screeched before Kenma clenched his fists and clutched his phone. 

He rushed to a lone corner before checking his bag for the little piece of jade his mother had given him, in case a spirit went loose and he couldn't find it. The piece of jade would act as a GPS almost and would lead him to the area where the spirit would be. He had to act quickly because your body had drawn enough attention as it is. The piece of jade began to glow on his palm before pressing forward and Kenma instantly ran toward the direction that it led. _What the hell? Why is there some disturbance now?_

His eyes widened when he spotted a phantom, clutching to your spirit form, right in the middle of the basketball court of his school. Kenma was panting now, and your spirit form was being squeezed to death. He was aware that it wouldn't be enough to kill you, but if the phantom devoured you, you were done for.

It took him a second to bring out his katana, the handle of it was a bright burning red, the same blade that was passed down in his family. The scabbard of the katana was a dull brown, but the blade itself was magnificent. It had a red hue toward the sharp end of the blade, which could practically cut spirit trails with ease. The katana was useless against people, and the red hue made it apparent. 

"Kenma-kun! Help!"

He didn't intend on helping you; he was here to destroy the phantom. It was grotesque and large, the biggest he had seen in his life, but it was nothing compared to the training his mother put him through every weekend. The phantom resembled a mammoth, with arms sticking out from its side, one of which was holding on to you rather tightly. Unsheathing his katana, Kenma dashed forward before attempting to slice the phantom in half, knowing that it would be enough to scatter its essence back to the spirit world. His eyes widened when it had no effect.

You screened a second later as you were being squeezed some more, which made him wonder if you could feel pain as a spirit. _She's not a spirit_ , his mind scolded him, _She's a hanyou!_

A second later, he realized it was a bit too late. No spirit would be after your spirit form if your body was left unchecked. Kenma wanted to rush and check on your body first, but leaving you here would mean abandoning you.

Shit, he thought before gripping his blade tightly and rushing toward the phantom's legs. He sliced off one leg, bringing it down, before jumping in the air and stabbing it right in between its eyes. Your spirit self fell down along with the demon, and Kenma walked over to you before pulling you up. He hadn't realized until then that his heart was pounding from the excitement, but your spirit self seemed unhurt.

"Thank you—"

"Your body is in danger."

Your eyes widened before you quickly ran toward the infirmary, knowing that you would be there. Kenma followed you simply because he knew that it would be too late. He knew that the phantom he had fought was a distraction and that the real danger lay in whatever was heading toward your body in the meantime. He had failed, simply because he had made the wrong decision.

He didn't have to worry about your spirit self. He knew that the true danger lay in allowing another spirit to possess your living body.

As a ghosthunter, whose primary responsibility was to prevent a spirit from possessing a living body, Kenma knew that choosing your spirit self right then was a grave error. He paused when he saw your spirit self pause, your hands were covering your jaw now, and Kenma followed your gaze. Your body was getting up on its feet and turned to look at both of you—your spirit and Kenma, before a sad smile sat on your physical body's features.

He knew that by choosing to help your spirit, he had failed the primary teachings that were taught to a ghosthunter. While he knew that the actual spirit that had now possessed your living body merely used the bigger phantom as a distraction, the real danger lay in your spirit form now lurking in the air the way it was. If you could be pushed out of your own body that easily, Kenma knew that the only option to avoid future mishaps like these was to figure out why you were a hanyou in the first place. As much as he wanted to avoid it, now it seemed, that he no longer could.

"What the..." You sounded terrified, "What is..."

Kenma knew he blew it. But, thankfully, he knew what to do. 

"I need your help," He said begrudgingly, "Meet me at building 4's terrace after school."

You turned to him with a panicked expression, "What? What about until then? My body—"

"I can help you," Kenma promised, unable to look away from your eyes, "I need you to trust me, I'm your only ally here."

Your lower lip trembled and Kenma felt strangely sad for you. You were not really at fault here, whatever had happened was because you were kept in the dark about something you had no idea about. He looked at your wrist and noticed that you were not wearing the magatama beads around your wrist.

"What happened to your magatama bracelet?"

"It broke the first time I jumped..." 

_It's because she didn't have a replacement magatama bracelet that she was sniffed out like that_ , he thought, sighing internally. He gave you a worried expression before feeling an arm wrap around his shoulder. It was Kuroo.

"She falls even without the volleyball hitting her, huh," Kuroo teasingly said, "Such a strange girl you have eyes for."

Kenma's eyes widened and he deliberately chose to avoid your gaze. You stood there, suddenly feeling the freest you've ever felt, but in the worst possible way. It felt as if you were naked, and not a soul could see you. And with Kenma avoiding your gaze the way he was, your heart was inching toward breaking. 

You've never been more terrified in your life at the darkness that presented itself in one of the brightest places.


	4. c h a p t e r - f o u r

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟  
𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟**

*****

You knew you owed him, but you didn't know why you felt more grateful to him than you did with your own family. It was quite obvious that they were hiding something, and while your only source to learn the truth was Kenma, he didn't seem all that eager to help you out. Yet, he's the one sticking his neck out for you. 

When it was lunch hour, you noticed some students came here to eat. Most of them were couples and a group of slackers, but you wanted to see Kenma. Strangely, the thought of the boy made you feel safer than you actually were, and you couldn't tell if it was because he was the only one who could even see you as you were right now. You closed your eyes and leaned against the railing of your school terrace, before noticing your body moving toward the middle of the school grounds. Mimi wasn't with her, and that confused you, and even though Kenma asked you not to do anything, seeing your body there on its own gave you some sort of rush.

You hurried down there and spotted yourself, kicking the dirt beneath your legs.

Luckily, there was no one around. You approached yourself before finding the right words to tell yourself about the predicament.

"What—"

"Sister," You heard your body say, but the voice did not sound anything like yours, "Sister."

You blinked a couple of times before noticing your body turn to look at you, tears streaming from your eyes. Your eyes widened before you rubbed them twice, and noticed how sad your body looked. What is going on? You thought before gulping, taking a step forward.

"Sister? I'm not your sister."

"Sister. Died. Sister. Here."

What the hell is going on? You were quite possibly the angriest you have ever been in your entire life, and you wondered what would happen if you just rushed toward your body despite the other spirit being there. Before you could do something so reckless, however, your body extended its right arm and pointed to the line of Sakura trees at the distance.

"Sakura. Sister. Sakura."

The trees weren't blooming, there was nothing special about Sakura trees when it wasn't April or May. You were confused when you spotted your body cry some more, wiping its own tears and sniffing. 

"Did you... have a sister?"

Your body nodded before you attempted to ask it another question.

"Did your sister... die?"

Your body froze before the answer came to you. There was a spirit in your body. And it was the spirit talking. Holding your breath, you took another step forward before asking it the one question that gave you the reaction that you needed.

"Did you die?"

Your body turned to you and looked at you with such a devastatingly broken look that it shook your heartstrings. You weren't aware of what ghosthunters normally did before killing a spirit, or was it even called 'killing' in the first place? But, whatever it was, what a truly sad job they had if the spirits each had such heartbreakingly morose stories.

"Stay away from it," Kenma's voice sounded a few feet behind you, and you turned to spot him with his tanto out in his hand. "I told you _after_ school."

"I think she wants to see her sister." You said, and that earned a yelp from your body—the same unfamiliar voice that resounded from it earlier.

"Phantoms trick people, (l/n)," Kenma said, walking closer toward your body, "That's all they know how to do."

There was a look of panic that rose in your body's face before you rushed toward Kenma. You stood in front of him with your arms outstretched and gave him a determined look. Kenma shook his head before walking through you, not even concerned with what you had in mind.

"Kenma-kun!" 

_Huh, when did I start calling him by his first name?_

"It's my body and I choose to do what I want with it!"

Kenma stilled before saying, "It's my job to kill phantoms, (l/n)."

"If you kill the spirit in my body against my will, then... then... I don't consider it consensual!"

Kenma's eyes widened when he turned around and gave you the most bewildered look possible. You looked serious, and not a word that came out of your mouth sounded like an excuse. He opened his mouth to say something but instantly shut up.

"You're making a mistake." He said, grimacing.

You shook your head before telling him, "After school. Let's follow my body and see where it takes us."

There is absolutely no need to be doing this, he thought before putting his tanto back and heading back to the classrooms. You turned to your body and noticed that the tears were gone, there was a wistful smile on your face that made you wonder if you were ever capable of making such a face if you were the spirit inside. 

You knew Kenma was annoyed with you, but you couldn't help it. Learning about spirits the way you were was the only exposure you ever got to be around other spirits and learning more about yourself. You realized that you wouldn't get any answers from your grandmother and Sato-san, so you sought them elsewhere, and who better to learn from than a ghosthunter himself?

After school, you found your body walking toward the Sakura trees that it had pointed to earlier. Kenma was right behind you, although his bag was missing and he was in his volleyball jersey. 

"Practice?"

"Right after I finish this," Kenma gritted his teeth together, "After you allow me."

You smiled at him before turning to your body, which had stopped right beside a zebra crossing. There was not a single person in this area, and your body's eyes were stuck to a particular point on the road. Kenma paused, before bringing out his tanto, and a soft gust of air blew toward them. He knew what this was, it was the phantom performing an image—genjutsu, they had called it in his family. 

Suddenly, you spotted two little girls—one slightly older than the other, trying to cross the road. The older one was giggling and trotting about, walking backward on the zebra crossing, so as to show the other girl something. 

In one quick movement, a car ran over her.

The image ended just as quickly as it began, and both Kenma and you were frozen to the spot. Your body walked over to Kenma before pulling out its hands and holding his, before looking straight at him.

"Sister," It said, "You killed."

Kenma bit his lip before shutting his eyes, understanding the entire thing. Bringing out his tanto, he pierced your body but strangely there was no blood. Wordlessly, the spirit exited your body with nothing to say, the ordeal entirely bleak yet almost natural. When you blinked next, you were inside your body. There were a few sakura petals scattered on the floor, despite it not being the time for it to bloom. Tears filled your eyes and you looked up to meet Kenma's gaze.

"What... What happened?"

"Both of them died," Kenma said, looking away from you, "The other phantom that pulled you out was the older sister."

In one quick movement, you hugged him. Kenma's eyes widened as you pressed to his form before he felt you cry. He looked at you with wide eyes before understanding that this was the first time you had discovered that the tales these spirits often carried with them were tragic, and would require a stone heart to never react to them. Especially witnessing the death of a spirit could be incredibly daunting. Kenma patted your head before muttering 'it's okay' softly, as you pulled away.

Your heart fluttered in your chest when you noticed Kenma's fingers brush against your hair, but the contact ended just as soon as it began. You bit your lip before watching him watch you, noticing that you were clearly uncomfortable with something. 

"My grandmother and the other Miko at the shrine aren't telling me why I'm a hanyou," You said, alerting him, "I want to know. I want to understand what this means. Leaving me in the dark isn't helping me. And you said... You said I'm not supposed to be alive."

"Listen," You'd never seen Kenma smile before but right then, you were certain that his smile had the power to blind you, "I'll help you."

Your eyes widened, "What?"

He shrugged before starting to head back to school. You followed meekly. Suddenly, you noticed how broad his shoulders were despite not being very tall, and his hair was bunched into a ponytail. You knew he didn't do this often, but it looked ridiculously good on him. Your eyes widened with your thoughts of the ghosthunter, and you turned away with an evident blush streaked across your face. But, he's cute, your mind fought with you, and you shut your eyes and shook your head, hoping to shake the thoughts away too.

"I don't understand a lot of things myself. I know that severing your ties with the spirit world won't kill you, but the fact that you're a hanyou meant that there's something rooted in your being. A spirit or a phantom is in charge of it."

You narrowed your eyes, "What does that mean?"

"It means that your birth wasn't natural. Spirits were definitely involved. You either should have died, or you almost died protecting something."

While that didn't make sense to you, you knew that the circumstances of your birth weren't normal. Apparently, there was no moon on that night, and the power was out, and you were upside down in your mother's stomach. All of these things didn't involve spirits, but you were certain that there was something Sato-san and your grandmother was hiding. Something that they weren't telling you, not just about being a hanyou, but about the circumstances of your birth as well.

"So what'll happen if you sever my spirit ties?"

Kenma shook his head, "There could be a calamity. The thing that you almost died protecting could be endangered."

"What..." You knew right away that this was way too much information, "What was I protecting that I almost died for?"

"In most cases," Kenma turned to look at you, "It's family."


	5. c h a p t e r - f i v e

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒  
𝑢𝑛𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠**

*****

When you went home that evening, you received the magatama bracelet from your mother. You wondered if your mother knew why, but asking her is the same as asking Sato-san. Your mother was practically raised in the shrine, and up until she met your father, your mother even had planned on being a Miko, instead, she chose to be an accountant. You wondered if your father knew, but since you'd never even spoken to him about being a hanyou, you figured that keeping things hidden in this family was the norm.

You couldn't stop thinking of Kenma's smile when he agreed to help you. There was no reason for him to deny it, since he was a ghosthunter after all, however, his hesitance to where you are currently provided the transition that your heart craved.

Sometimes, you cursed yourself at how easily you liked people. You wondered if you gave them too much credit, you wondered if liking people so easily meant that it was you who was at fault for putting your heart on your sleeve, but you thought otherwise. It was your father who had once told you that liking people easily meant being open to trust, and it was never a bad thing at all.

 _Remember, (y/n)_ , he had said, _Never look down on your ability to open your heart to someone. It's a gift that most of the world doesn't understand._

But, having a crush on a ghosthunter who was supposed to end your ties to the spirit world was a tad bit complicated and a whole lot miserable. There was nothing happy about the relationship you currently shared with Kenma Kozume. He was merely helping you out of obligation and he had smiled because was a nice person; a bit shy, here and there, but once you get to know him, you'd realize that he's more than met the eye. He could be sassy, confident, and sexy in a dark way that sent shivers down your spine. 

When you walked into school the next day, with the magatama bracelet around your wrist, you were certain that things were back to normal to an extent. However, your eyes peered to the left toward where the second-year classrooms were before trying to spot a familiar person.

"Looking for someone?"

You almost yelped before turning to face a boy's chest, before looking up to see two golden eyes and a nasty grin plastered on the captain of the volleyball team's face. Kuroo Tetsuroo was often hailed as scheming because his face had a 'know-it-all-done-it-all' expression. You gulped before feeling your cheeks redden at being blatantly caught trying to look for his friend.

"N-Not really."

Kuroo hummed before leaning toward the shoe racks, "You sure? I think I saw Kenma walk over to his class over there."

You bit your lip before feeling your eyebrow twitch with annoyance. You had a bad habit of wanting to play with your bracelet when you were nervous, and when your fingers began to itch, you felt the need to do it again. Kuroo chuckled once before circling on the spot he stood and walking past you.

"I'm not too much of a fan of people pining for one another," Your eyes widened at his remark, "But, you should do more than just stare if you're planning on bagging him."

You turned around aggressively and snapped, "I'm not trying to _bag_ anyone!"

Kuroo merely laughed before waving at you over his shoulder and walking away. Sure, he may be called scheming, but you'd call him annoying instead. You shut your eyes before playing with your magatama beads, the feeling of them against your skin made you calmer by the second. 

"It's because you fiddle with them that they break," Your face reddened tenfold with the familiar voice grazing your ears, "Stop doing that."

You opened your eyes to spot Kenma, putting on his indoor shoes. His gaze was cool, almost as if he wasn't actually looking at you but looking through you. There was something oddly trance-like about Kozume that made you wonder if his shy persona often fooled people into believing he was shy at all since no part of him seemed shy to you. 

He was incredibly _sexy_. There was no other way you'd put it.

"Your face is red," He said, his voice sultry, "You alright?"

You took a deep breath before nodding, but you felt his hand graze over your forehead. _Oh my god_ , you thought before you shut your eyes instantly, feeling the coldness of his palm hit your burning forehead.

"Y-Your fingers are cold." You let out.

Kenma chuckled and you thought you'd have a heart attack. "That's right, my bad."

He pulled away from you before shooting you a friendly look and walking away. However, when he paused to tell you something, you felt your heart leap to your throat. You turned around to see him look at you over his shoulder before turning around and shoving his hands inside his pocket. Pulling out, he presented a small green gem, almost as big as a pea.

"What is this?" You asked, taking it in your hand.

"A jade fragment," He said, "It'll let you know if there's a spirit nearby. If there's one, come find me. Doesn't matter where I am."

Your face reddened at his concern. You looked at him looking at you, and you almost melted at how earnest his expression was.

"Except if I'm in class, then you're on your own."

You giggled before immediately stopping and nodding at him. Kenma nodded once before saying, "Did you speak to your family?"

"Eh?"

"We need to find out why you're a hanyou."

 _Oh, right!_ "My family isn't telling me anything though," You admit, "Sato-sama, the head Miko of our shrine, keeps grazing over the topic. Doesn't tell me anything. And my grandmother just gives me this sad expression that makes me want to scream. It's honestly frustrating."

"Did you tell them what happened?" Kenma asked, smoothly.

"Well, I mean... No—"

"If you're not going to be honest with them, then what's the point in expecting the same from them?"

You froze. For a second you wondered if ghosthunters were supposed to have eyes like Kenma's, alluring and flickering with an enchanting menace that made you feel rooted to the very ground you stood on. 

"I..." 

You had no words to say.

"Sato, right?" Kenma said, before turning away, "I'll inquire."

Guilt hit your features in a way it had never before. She could feel the emptiness grow in her bones when she thought of how much he was helping her and how little she herself contributed to it. It was her problem, and a week ago, she had no idea that there was even a ghosthunter in this school at all. You watched Kenma's retreating form and wondered if that was all you were to him and how you wouldn't even be surprised if that was all he would think of you.

A burden he had to get rid of.

A job he merely needed to complete. 

Kenma's ultimate goal by the end of this was to sever your ties with the spirit world; to figure out what was rooted to your being, and what calamity needed to be avoided. For that, you'd need to figure out why you were alive.

You were going to have to speak to your grandmother and get answers out of her, whether you liked it or not.

A second later, however, you had the strangest idea. You knew instantly that Kenma wouldn't approve, but then you knew that getting answers out of your grandmother was the primary agenda. Letting out a deep breath, you wondered if what you were about to do was even a good idea at all, but if you could somehow understand something more, then it's better for you.

Once you reached home, you quickly went to your room and closed the door. You snatched the magatama bracelet off your hand and jumped out of your body, before running toward the shrine. You knew you were risking it, but just before exiting your room, you had placed the magatama back to your hand and headed out. This would prevent any phantoms from taking over your body, and while you knew you yourself couldn't enter your body later, it was a problem you'd think for a solution for later on. You rushed to the shrine to where you knew your grandmother would be before spotting Sato-san first.

Your eyes widened when you saw Kenma there.

You quickly hid behind the nearest bush, and watched the entire scene; Kenma didn't tell you that he was going to do this, and you were just as shocked to see him there. He was wearing a strange garb, a black hakama with a white kimono underneath. His hair was let loose and you could see the katana and tanto attached to his hip.

"Your granddaughter is a hanyou," Kenma said, sounding almost tired. "We need to sever her ties—"

"We cannot do that, young man." Sato-san said, rudely.

"It's my job as a ghosthunter, unfortunately. It'd help if you state the reason she's a hanyou or I'll have to sever her ties in another manner."

_Another manner?_

"You will do no such thing. There were no ghosthunters in Nekoma the last time around!" Sato-san almost shrieked.

Kenma winced externally before rubbing the back of his neck, "Unfortunate for you, again. I'm the ghosthunter of Nekoma. I won't ask again."

"Young man," Your grandmother's voice sounded from behind Kenma, "If you do not leave, we will consider you a trespasser." 

Kenma sighed before his eyes found yours through the bush. You gasped softly before noticing the helpless look in his eye as he was forced out of your shrine. He knew you were there, of course, he must have sensed you. However, the fact that even he couldn't get past your grandmother and Sato-san was unbelievable. 

"We must tell him about the onryo." Your grandmother said.

"Nonsense! We cannot risk the safety of our shrine."

 _Onryo? What's onryo?_ You took a deep breath before noticing Sato-san walk away, and instantly recalled Kenma going down the stairs. You brushed past your grandmother before catching up him and stood right in front of him.

"You shouldn't be so reckless." He said, offering you a bitter smile.

"What's an onryo?"

Kenma's eyes narrowed, "Where did you hear that?"

Your heart dropped. You weren't sure if you were relieved or scared that Kenma seemed familiar with the term. In a quick moment, you grabbed his wrist before pulling him toward your house, leading him into your room from the back window. Kenma sighed when he spotted your body adorning the magatama bracelet, which meant you couldn't get back inside unless he took it off. Slowly peeling the bracelet off your body's wrist, you slipped back inside and took a deep breath.

"So, onryo. What's that?" You asked, sitting on the ground, your hands on your thighs.

Kenma stood there awkwardly, before wondering if he should tell you at all.

"They're ghosts. They cause a lot of harm to the living world because they're basically filled with vengeance. Either they're formed out of a broken promise, or a false accusation. While their tales are tragic, they... they often mislead the living into believing something, but they take away more than what they offer to give."

"What do they offer?" You asked, your eyes boring into Kenma's face.

"The last example I'd heard was from a few years ago. My mother worked in this case and she told me. There was a man who wanted a promotion in his company. He made an offer with one of the onryo that he'd give it anything that the onryo desires if it could give him that promotion. The man got the promotion in the end, but... The onryo took the life of his unborn child instead."

Your eyes widened. When Kenma turned to look at you, it wasn't with a smile.

"I think if there's an onryo linked to your birth, then ending your ties with the spirit world could summon a yokai."


	6. c h a p t e r - s i x

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑥**  
𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤  


*****

The next day in school, your mind wandered around your own origin. 

If there was an onryo linked to your birth, then that meant that there were other complications that caused you to be born a hanyou. You were sitting in class, thinking of your grandmother, thinking of Sato-san, wondering how in the world you were going to make them explain what had happened with your birth. Heeding Kenma's words, should you just tell them what had happened, with the phantom taking over your body and pushing your soul out? 

Wasn't it your right to know the truth?

Yet, you couldn't approach them. It wasn't fear that stopped you, it was much more than that. Should you ask Kenma to cut your ties with the spirit world regardless? Did you owe them any kind of honesty even if they haven't ever been honest with you?

You groaned before laying your head on the table, your class completely ignoring you, your mind slowly wandering to Kenma's sweet smile. He was perhaps the only one you trusted currently, and it was strange how he had almost attacked you when he first saw you. You knew you had a soft spot for him, but it was much more complex now with how he seemed to be the only one wanting to help you. 

_My grandmother..._ you thought, before narrowing your eyes. _I'm sure if I approach her when she's alone and explain things to her, I can get some of the truth out of her before Sato-san finds us. This is the only chance I have..._ You knew that not completely jumping in head-on with telling them the truth and demanding answers out of them was partly cowardly, but they were your family. You couldn't approach them with aggression; you had never been that sort of person. It wasn't cowardice, but the desire to not disobey that had been ingrained into your mind ever since you were a child. And being a hanyou definitely didn't help in giving you a rebellious nature.

You wondered if it was something you could develop in a short span of time? Approaching your grandmother for answers might only give you short, incomplete bits of information that might not even help you with understanding yourself, and your dependency on the magatama beads for the rest of your life seemed strange. 

Almost as if you were chained to something.

After school, you spotted Kenma heading toward the gym and your first instinct was to approach him and speak to him about your dilemma. Your face flushed at the thought of going over to him and talking to him, a rather bold move, but your constant self-reassurance that 'it's okay', 'I actually have a valid reason to do so' gave you butterflies. 

As if you yelled his name, he turned to spot you gazing at him from a distance. Kenma cocked one eyebrow as if to ask if you were okay, and you merely shook your head before scramming from the location. Letting out a sigh, Kenma continued to walk toward the gym, a deadpan resting on his face. It didn't take an expert to know what you thought of him, he wasn't that much of a noob when it came to emotions; playing games constantly gave him an upper-hand in understanding people's emotions, which could easily make others believe the opposite. 

Even if he wanted to help you, there was nothing personally attached to the need. Once he severed your ties to the spirit world, things could return to normal. Knowing that there was an onryo linked to your circumstance made things a lot more complicated; his urgency in ending your ties was more apparent, even if it seemed like he was relaxing quite a bit. He couldn't let his mother or any other ghosthunter know about the onryo's existence because there was one thing Kenma wasn't telling you.

They don't take into account the repercussions people made when dealing with a ghost. Ghosthunters merely exorcised, never asked questions. The fact that Kenma was doing it made him feel strange. 

Was he doing it for you? He couldn't tell. Whatever it was, he wanted to learn more about why you were kept in the dark and what had actually happened. Perhaps, it was his curious nature that drove this instinct in him; he couldn't know for sure.

"She likes you, you know," Kuroo said, as soon as he stepped inside the gym. "Why don't you ask her out?"

"Because I don't like her."

"Eh? Kenma's got a flame?" Yamamoto was a loud person.

Kenma grimaced before shaking his head and choosing not to respond. Kuroo laughed cheekily before patting the boy's back, earning his attention.

"So you wouldn't mind if I hit on her?"

Kenma's gaze didn't waver but when he said, "Go for it," he swore he could feel his stomach constrict.

Suddenly, he felt it. A phantom's presence; Kenma's eyes loomed over the windows of the gym toward the far left, right where the storage closets were. It was quite easy to excuse himself and head outside, wanting to know where the presence was coming from, but he wasn't quite prepared to see what was there. His eyes widened when he spotted your soul, hunched down, quivering. He quickly approached you before placing a hand on your shoulder, and it was then he knew he had made a mistake.

He gasped when he felt the phantom enter his chest.

Kuroo spotted Kenma return and waved at him. Strangely, there was something odd about his friend now. His eyes were a tad bit bloodshot, and he looked a lot more tired than he usually did. _Strange_ , Kuroo thought before tapping his chin, _I just saw him and he looked fine._

"You know what," Kenma said, surprisingly not sounding like himself, "I don't feel too good."

_Okay?_

"You should go," Kuroo said, watching him intently. "It's not good to practice if you're tired."

Kenma nodded before offering Kuroo a sweet smile. This is definitely not like him, he thought but said nothing about it. He watched as Kenma took his things and left the gym, and Kuroo just stood there scratching his head. 

Kenma wandered outside in search of you; it wasn't obvious, but his treads were hasty and ragged, almost as if seeing you meant everything to him right then. Of course, if one knew what had actually happened then they'd know that this wasn't Kenma at all, in fact, it was a phantom in disguise. He was right about phantoms, he had always known their intrinsic nature; they would do anything to cheat people and get what they want. Just as it had taken your form to get to him.

Kenma spotted you near the library, returning a book you had borrowed. You noticed his presence right away, but there was something quite strange about his gaze. There were bags under his eyes, and you suddenly couldn't remember if Kenma always had bags under his eyes at all. He was looking at you as if he was looking through you and you could tell he was approaching you with the tread he took because he was being fast.

"Kenma-kun?" 

He grabbed your wrist before pushing you to the wall, a gasp exiting your throat at his sudden reaction. His other hand went to your neck before squeezing hard, your eyes widening at what he was doing. It was then you saw it; his eyes were hosting a strange hue of red in the irises, a red that was not present before.

"What... Kenma-kun... What..." You were sure you were being choked; your eyes teared up as Kenma's hands tightened around your neck.

A smirk sat on his lips and you knew you could never forget the way he looked at you right then. A second later, he was roughly pulled off of you, an unfamiliar force then pulled you away, and you noticed a bedhead that you had strangely thought was annoying.

"I knew something was strange about Kenma," Kuroo said, as you stood behind him, "I just don't understand what's going on here."

"That's..." Your throat hurt, and your voice was raspy, "That's not Kenma." 

Kuroo didn't look surprised, but he was. 

"What's going on?" Kuroo asked, but it sounded as if he was asking mostly to himself.

A second later, you narrowed your eyes before rushing toward Kenma or his body and grabbed his hand. You took your bracelet before pulling it out harshly and wrapping it around his wrist, forcing the phantom to come out—bringing Kenma back inside. 

"Kenma-kun—"

You were instantly pushed behind as Kenma pulled his tanto and rushed to pierce the phantom, which strangely had no form. His eyes were narrowed dangerously before he turned to look at the magatama around his wrist. The only reason a phantom could possess him was because he had his guard down. The only reason was because his bare fingers had come into contact with a phantom. 

If he didn't take care of you first, then this would keep repeating and he knew that it would only get worse.

It didn't take an expert to know that you were now his weakness.

He turned to Kuroo and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. Kuroo's eyes were fixed on his best friend holding a tanto blade in his hand, which now magically disappeared behind his phone. He pointed to it with a shaky finger and then pointed to you before tilting his head, expressing confusion.

"Okay," Kuroo's voice was strangely normal, "What the fuck!?"

"I'll explain," Kenma said, glaring at you for some reason. "Here," He handed you the magatama before shoving it in your hand, the gesture was a tad bit forceful. 

"Don't do that again." Kenma almost scolded you and your heart fell.

You didn't know why you felt the animosity from him just then, but it didn't take an expert to know he was mad at you. It wasn't as if this was your fault? You were at the library, you hadn't even approached him; you hadn't even breathed in his direction. Then, why was he mad at you? What had you done? 

How in the world did that phantom possess him? 

You turned to Kuroo, who had also noticed the strange anger that Kenma seemed to be exhibiting before giving you an apologetic smile. He knew that hitting on you would be a waste of time since your gaze was directed at Kenma's, even though the gamer boy (who was now secretly some sort of ghostbuster) couldn't care less. Or perhaps, Kenma was one of those people who'd realize that care came later, and anger came first. Because if it was you who was in danger, then he'd react differently.

It wasn't as if Kuroo was even interested in you, it was just that Kenma had never interacted with girls before as much as he did with you. Perhaps, you had a role to play in this entire secret identity that his best friend seemed to be sporting. Perhaps, you were depending on him in that aspect because of his secret identity. It was something he was eventually going to know, now that he had witnessed it.

But, it didn't take an expert to know and Kuroo was no expert at all, that Kenma cared for you. Perhaps, cared enough to leave you there as your heart slowly broke, while his own hands gripped tightly the air within its fist.


	7. c h a p t e r - s e v e n

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛  
𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑠**

*****

It wasn't as if you were certain of it, but there was an inkling in your mind that suggested that Kenma didn't like you. Sure, you were aware of the feelings you had for him that was slowly growing despite the distance he had so conveniently placed between the two of you ever since he had gotten possessed. But, that didn't assist you in any way, as a matter of fact, it only made things worse on your end. You spotted him sometimes at the edge of your floor's corridor, since the second year classes were toward the end, and you'd immediately look away if you felt his gaze would fall on you. 

It felt as if it was a crime to even like him with the way he was treating you, but you knew it had a lot to do with your current predicament. Perhaps, the fact that you were a hanyou led a lot more phantoms to the area because they could sense you. Maybe, the magatama did little in concealing your presence, after all, that one slip and the few others insisted that phantoms could sense you regardless. 

Perhaps, your existence was just making his work as a ghosthunter all the more difficult. 

You didn't want to think of it that way, but with the way Kenma was avoiding you, your thoughts were brutal. _If only I knew the origin of my birth_ , you thought before feeling a strange conviction grow inside of you. _I have to speak to my grandmother_ , you thought more for Kenma's sake than your own.

You wanted him to speak to you again; you wanted him to give you that smile that had caused your inevitable fall, you wanted the distance between the two of you gone—and you were driven to achieve it, even if it meant going against your family. 

_I'm going to tell him_ , you thought before approaching the gym. You spotted Kuroo heading that way, before noticing you and waving at you casually—almost as if nothing odd had happened recently. _He's so weird_ , you thought before shaking your head and approaching him. 

"Kenma?" He asked, teasingly.

You blushed at his tone before clearing your throat and nodding. Kuroo whistled before rubbing the back of his neck.

"He's been on edge the past few days," Kuroo said, "He told me everything. I never even knew. Shit."

You bit your lip. You were the reason he told Kuroo something he hadn't told him before. You'd heard that Kuroo and Kenma were childhood friends, which meant that Kenma was forced to tell him a secret he'd been carrying for years; a secret that was broken because of you. You felt compelled to leave, without seeing the blond, but your feet were glued to the spot as Kuroo went in to grab Kenma.

Your eyes widened before feeling your heart plummet to the ground. _No_ , you thought before shaking your head, _It's fine. Everything's fine._

You didn't know why convincing yourself was so hard right then.

Kenma walked out with a visible scowl on his face. Upon falling on you, you were surprised to hear him click his tongue. You chose to ignore it for the time being before shaking your head and offering him a warm smile. A tad bit hesitant, but it was the warmest you could conjure right then.

"Kenma-kun! I'm going to speak to my grandmother today! I'll learn what made me a hanyou and we can put an end to this once and for all—"

"I'm done," Kenma said, lowly. You blinked, unaware of what he was implying but he continued, "Whatever that's concerning you, I'm done."

"Eh?"

"Other ghosthunters were able to slay the ties a hanyou had to the spirit world without a hindrance. It's not as if you were a problem, but considering that your specific reason to being a hanyou itself is based off some sort of transaction that your family made with an onryo, it's none of my business."

"N-None of your business? But... But you said you'd help!" At this point, you could feel your heart beat faster, your anxiety was increasing, and your eyes were tearing up.

You saw him shrug and you bit your lower lip and stopped yourself from crying. You couldn't understand why he was so nonchalant. But, words of absolute passion slipped out of your lips even when you knew it wouldn't help.

"You said you'd help... I thought... I thought we were in this together? I thought... I thought you cared—"

"Honestly, I just spoke to you because you were a spirit. Don't go jumping into conclusions, honestly. What did you think?"

You felt as if the wind was knocked out of you. The person in front of you breathed, spoke, and looked like Kenma, but he wasn't the person you fell for. He wasn't the same person that had smiled so sweetly at you. Or was he?

"Is it... Is it because of the possession? You got possessed—"

As if he was reminded of something he didn't want to be, Kenma almost hissed at you. his golden gaze was so strong that it had you trembling on the spot. But, you weren't going to be led to a pitiful state because of a boy. You'd lived and seen many difficult things, especially about your own family lying to you. 

A boy could not hurt you more than that. 

_But_... Your mind betrayed you. _But... Kenma's not just any boy._

"Say..." You said, turning your gaze to the ground, earning his attention. "If I wanted to sever the ties by myself, what should I do?"

Kenma blinked at you, before feeling his stomach drop. There was no way he'd tell you something like that. But, if you had already thought about it... then that would mean...

...you'd attempt it.

"You can't," Kenma lied, smoothly, hoping with everything he had that convinced you, "That's impossible. That's why ghosthunters exist."

You nodded before turning on your heel. You stood for a second before Kenma noticed your shoulders drop. And it was right then did Kenma learn of a different sort of pain. A pain he hadn't quite experienced before.

A pain drenched in a hidden place. 

"I'm sorry for everything, Kozume-kun."

The place where familiarity perished and strangeness returned.

*

When you reached home that evening, you ignored the throes of your own heart before rushing to change. You gripped the magatama tightly before wrapping your hair in a neat bun, changing into a hakama, and rushing toward the shrine. You ignored the cries of your mother at how abruptly you left, and you just moved.

You were not going to see your grandmother. You knew no answer would come out of her. 

On reaching the shrine, you spotted your grandmother by the gate, watering a few plants. You ignored her before rushing to the hall of worship. You knew Sato-san would most definitely be there, and your deduction was right. You hadn't realized that your grandmother had been following you, but right then, that didn't matter. 

"If you don't tell me what I need to know," Your heart was pounding, "I will discard this magatama and enter your physical body."

"(y/n)! How dare you—"

"Sato-sama! Answer me!"

Sato-san turned around and sighed, frowning at you. Your grandmother came rushing, but you shook her off before gulping.

"I will sever my own ties," You said, tears filling your eyes, "I think I have an idea on how to do it."

"(y/n), there are some things you are better off not knowing." Sato-san said.

"Oh, _really_?" you mocked, "And it's okay if I suffer for the rest of my life as a hanyou? You're never going to tell me about some darn transaction that you made with an onryo?!"

Sato-san's eyes widened and your grandmother froze. 

"Where... How did you know that?"

"Tell me the truth or I'll sever those ties myself." You threaten.

"How would you do that? Only a ghosthunter—"

"The phantom version of me can't die," You said, "But if I were to stab myself with a ceremonial tanto, it'd be a problem right?"

You weren't an overtly smart person all the time, but sometimes, your deduction skills were top-notch.


	8. c h a p t e r - e i g h t

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡  
𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒

*

Sato-san wasn't always a stubborn woman. There was a point in her life when she appeared softer than she really was, but now things had changed. Ever since you were born, life had demanded her to become tougher—almost merciless. A liar, she would have called herself in the past. It wasn't as if keeping the truth from you was something she wanted, but, selfishness drove people to nasty bounds.

So, when you rushed to the temple to grab the ceremonial tanto, a part of her refused to stop you. If this was how things were to play out, then she would have to let it happen—the way it was meant to. 

However, she spotted your grandmother in the back and her heart shattered. She quickly rushed to you but realized she was too late, since the jade magatama was off your hand now, and the tanto pressed to your throat. Your eyes widened as you gasped, feeling the tanto go through you as if it were made of air—but there was a scorching heat that resounded where the blade came in contact with your throat, and all you could think of was the sound of your mother crying in a dark corner.

Your eyes widened as you saw light from every corner of the room—light that was now swallowing you whole. You suddenly couldn't feel any part of your body; you could hear your grandmother scream your name and that was it.

*

Kenma knew he shouldn't have snapped at you, ultimately because he had a weak heart. He knew you liked him and he knew that hurting you the way he did, did more damage than he intended to give, simply because hurting you hurt him—and as strange as that was, it was a fact that Kenma decided to dissect after he was done apologizing to you. After a day had passed, he understood clearly that he had only impulsively reacted to you telling him something.

It was not your fault that he was possessed. It was not your fault that whatever had happened with Kenma had happened, if Kenma had his guard down then that meant you were someone worthy of distracting him and that was an odd fact he had to swallow.

He pictured how curious you actually were in figuring out what had happened with you. It was you who had let him know of the existence of an onryo, which meant that there was some sort of pact that led to your phantom status. Speaking to his mother about onryos, he understood that there was some sort of exchange present between the onryo and the summoner, which had thus resulted in you.

None of this was your fault yet he had made you believe it was. Kenma sighed before walking into school to change to his indoor shoes, before spotting the spot he had snapped at you.

He wondered where you were. He'd usually spot you here, because you usually came to school around the same time he did. Still, he quietly walked over to your class and noticed that you still weren't here. It wasn't odd, Kenma most often came early because of practice, perhaps you were running late that day.

"Someone's curious." Kuroo's sneaky voice alerted him.

"She's not here yet."

"Maybe you pissed her off by meaning so mean."

Suddenly, his eyes widened. It was as if his breath was stuck in his throat and he had realized what the conversation actually was about the day before. Of what you had come to him for. You'd asked him something, something quite specific, and even though he thought he had successfully brushed you off—Kenma's growing fear made him realize it did not.

He turned to Kuroo with those wide eyes before scaring his best friend into thinking something was wrong with you.

_"Say..." You said, turning your gaze to the ground, earning his attention. "If I wanted to sever the ties by myself, what should I do?"_

He was hyperventilating now; breathing was getting too hard. He placed one hand by the wall before Kuroo rushed forward to support his friend.

"What the hell, Kenma? What's wrong—"

"I need to go."

Kenma had never enjoyed running, but right then he couldn't care less. He rushed toward your shrine knowing what had happened; everything was far too obvious. You were someone he knew he could read like a book, yet he had failed to see that his actions had pushed you to commit to something so drastic, something that could, in fact, kill you.

_I'm sorry for everything, Kozume-kun._

_It's Kenma_ , he thought, feeling the back of his eyelids burn. _It's Kenma, damn it!_

He didn't even have to enter your shrine to know that there was a yokai there. Bringing out his phone, Kenma pulled out his katana and rushed upward, not bothered about finding your grandmother or that other lady who had snapped at him the other day. All he could think about was you. 

He shoved his hand into his pocket before pulling out the glowing jade jewel. Learning of the location, it led Kenma to the prayer hall—where you sat, cross-legged, right in the middle of the hall. 

"(y/n)!"

When you turned around, his blood ran cold. In place of the white sclera and your (e/c) eyes was a black sclera and red orbs glaring right back at him. Two small horns emerged from above your head, your hair let loose and free. You were still in your school uniform, which meant that you had done this yesterday, sparing no time to even change. Kenma's heart collapsed before knowing full well that he had done this.

"Ah," You said, but your voice was an echo of many other voices, "So _you're_ the ghosthunter she's quite fond of."

The guilt was blinding him. He looked around before trying to spot someone—wasn't there anyone around you while you had done this to yourself? He knew that if a hanyou tried severing their own ties, they'd either die or the result of what made them a hanyou would snap—and in this case, it had. The onryo had taken over your body, leaving your spirit self to wander. 

"Where is she?"

Your body shrugged, "She's gone. All I asked was for this family to keep the ties from being severed. They couldn't even do that. This is fair, exchange since I'm the reason she's alive."

"What rubbish." 

"That's true, ghosthunter." A voice spoke from behind Kenma.

Kenma turned to spot the old lady and your grandmother, at the other entrance of the hall. They stood away from the onryo, obvious as to not set foot too near it, with solemn looks on their faces.

"True?"

"She was going to die if that lady there hadn't prayed to keep the mother alive! The mother's alive because I could use the girl's half phantom self to roam the world of the living! Now that the part's severed, I can't let the girl live."

Kenma's eyes widened before he turned to the demon, his heart dropping. You were gone? As in, _dead_? He looked around to search for you, but you weren't around. A gasp stuck in his throat and he felt the need to scream.

"Because the girl wasn't a full human, I could roam here instead of being stuck to just the spirit world. We shared half of a spirit self, after all. Now that idiot girl's gone and wrecked everything."

"You... You bargained with a demon to keep her alive?" Kenma asked, directing it to the old women.

"We had no choice—"

"What a pathetic answer, don't you think?! Humans are just so adamant to prove that their selfishness can be justified! Makes me laugh! The girl could have lived a regular life if only you hadn't meddled! Yes, her mother would have died, but she'd have lived! To save her mother's life, you cursed her forever! Some love you had for her, eh?"

Sato-san wasn't always a stubborn woman, but when your grandmother had confessed to her forty years ago, it was then she realized that raising your mother together as a daughter was everything to her. True, the move she made to preserve the mother's life was a drastic one, but seeing what it did to you killed her. There was no going back from this. There was no killing the demon, either. 

Only one thing remained. 

"How about I make another demand?" Sato-san said, your grandmother grasping the woman's wrist.

"Oh?"

"Bring (y/n) back in exchange for my life."

The demon scoffed, "You're an old hag, what good would come from keeping you? You take me for some kind of fool or something?"

Kenma's hand that held the katana was shaking. He knew that a regular ghosthunter would end the demon's life right then and there—no hesitation. It would take him little to no energy at all. 

But, the demon was in your body. It looked and sounded like you.

His lips quivered.

You almost died protecting your mother. The oldest trick in the book was to save the mother in exchange for the child's life—he understood that this was the cause that drove most people to deal with demons. Yet, you didn't have to suffer the same way.

However, there was something shining in that room right then. Something that if Kenma noticed, would turn things around—would make fate lose this battle. 

Something only Kenma could notice. 

The glowing of the broken magatama where you had last stood indicated something, but Kenma was yet to see it.


	9. c h a p t e r - n i n e

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒  
𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦**

*

When you opened your eyes, you were inside what was your room. Right then, however, it looked nothing like your room, your bed was a small cradle, your window was almost sewed shut, and in the corner stood your mother, or someone who looked identical to your mother, her stomach enlarged, her face sullen. You knew instantly that you weren't in your body, the last thing you remembered was stabbing yourself with a ceremonial tanto, and being teleported here.

You remembered what Kenma called it—genjutsu, the area away from reality.

It is usually something a spirit shows you. Something you needed to understand for the spirit to pass. 

Immediately, the door to the room opened, and in came your grandmother and a much younger looking Sato-san, both walking in with sullen expressions.

"You must eat," Sato-san was the first to talk, "You cannot let the doctor's words grind your head the way she—"

"What if it's another miscarriage, mother?"

Did you hear her right? Your eyes widened at what your mother addressed Sato-san as, your heart dropping when you realized what it meant. It had been obvious to you since you were a child yet you kept turning a blind eye to it. Not like it would make a difference to you now.

"You must stay strong, sweetie," Your grandmother spoke, "It will be different this time—"

"If I have a daughter, I always wanted to name her (y/n)," Your mother said, sobbing. "This is the fourth time. The doctor wasn't confident. If I... If I can't I don't know—"

"You will." Sato-san spoke aggressively, before rushing out of the room.

Perhaps, this situation was what drove her to do what she did next. Instead of heading to the prayer hall to pray for her granddaughter's health, Sato-san decided to summon a spirit instead. It was relatively easy, considering there was a distorted heart wishing for something regular prayers could not—and since there was a strong distortion present, phantoms could thrive.

Jade jewels glowed a sharp, burning green, setting the gate on green fire. Sato-san shut her eyes before feeling the onryo's presence surround her, but without a body, the phantom was as useless as a gust of wind.

When the phantom manifested, what it asked for was your mother's life; you could hear the sharpness in its voice, how it sounded like nothing yet sounded mischievous at the same time. Instead, Sato-san said the few words that broke your heart and forever condemned you to believe you were the selfish one instead.

"No..." Sato-san's eyes widened with horror, "Anything but my daughter!"

Anything but her daughter.

The onryo spat out a laugh that sent shivers down your spine, "Then I will take half of the spirit of your granddaughter."

Taking the spirit of a human being did not mean robbing them of their life. A human spirit was bound to the human world; nothing more, nothing less. However, when an onryo takes half of a human's spirit, they will permanently hold onto a human form, allowing them to traverse between the spirit and human worlds, using the status of the person's hanyou nature. Upon death, the human body would belong to the demon, and the spirit of the human would be cursed to roam—just like the tales of ayakashi.

Instead of cursing your mother, you were cursed instead.

Tears leaked out of your eyes when you realized how unfair it was, yet, it was something you'd chose for yourself if it meant sparing your mother the life you led. If it was you who had to go through being a hanyou, then it was fine. You'd read long ago that it is much easier to be empathetic to a living creature than an unborn soul—which was perhaps why Sato-san could curse you instead of your mother. 

Yet, how unfair was this? It was unfair that you had lost your life now—unfair that you were to live, roaming the human world endlessly like a cursed ghost. A ghost meant for a ghosthunter to vanquish. 

So you cried as anyone would have at your unfortunate circumstance. You cried because you didn't get to live long enough to have your love returned by someone. You cried because you didn't live long enough to know what true heartbreak meant. You cried because you didn't live long enough to tell Kenma he was being a dick and that you had fallen for him despite that.

And each time you cried, the jade jewel in the hall Kenma stood at, staring at the onryo occupying your form, glowed vibrantly.

Perhaps it was chance that his eyes glanced to the side, before noticing how painfully the jewel glowed—almost as if fate itself was begging for Kenma to see what he was missing. If the ceremonial tanto was stabbed into your living body, then your spirit wouldn't die. It would simply trigger a severance, which displaces the spirit from the body until it is put back in—something a ghosthunter excelled in doing, something the ghosthunter in the room had been taught how to do.

No wonder a newbie got it wrong.

Instead of pulling yourself back into your body, the change triggered the onryo to go inside instead. This was due to the nature of your grandmother and Sato-san's exchange with the demon.

How utterly selfish indeed.

Kenma rushed to the jewel before noticing the onryo cock its eyebrow, a sight that repulsed him. He needed you back inside that body, not a demon that didn't care how unfair your life had been. Grabbing the jewel, Kenma knew he had to do something rather silly to get you back. He remembered his mother's words carefully: a human spirit works like the other end of a magnet with its body. When out of the body, and the vessel isn't empty, the spirit cannot return. Kenma sighed before grabbing the magatama before turning to the onryo. When the vessel is empty, the spirit rushes back—because that is what it is trying to do.

Kenma walked toward the onryo, before noticing it get on guard. However, the boy was quick enough to grab it by its waist and muttering a small apology—as he pressed his lips to its own, snapping the magatama to its fist. Before you could notice, you opened your eyes to Kenma kissing you, the small apology being the last thing you heard.

Gasping, you pulled away before slapping him across his face, feeling your face burn at the sudden traversing from the spirit world to your own body. You felt something in your palm, a lone magatama jewel, before noticing Kenma rub the cheek he was slapped against.

"I-I'm sorry..." You said before he shook his head.

Kenma suddenly threw a few jade jewels to the ground and spotted the area where the onryo was, before unsheathing his sword. He let out a breath before once again, muttering a small apology, and stabbing it directly to your heart.

You gasped louder this time, feeling the wind knocked right out of you, before falling to your knees. Kenma's blade was still embedded in your chest, but there was no pain—a faint pressure existed where his blade was, before feeling it burn the area around your chest. Tears leaked from your eyes before Kenma had tears of his own—eyes staring directly into yours.

You didn't know why he was crying, but the face he made broke your heart.

What Kenma doesn't tell you after that was how by stabbing you, he had seen what you had seen—the story of why you became a hanyou. Of why you were chosen as the one who had to be cursed, instead of your mother. Of how, even before you were born, you were not loved enough.

_"So what'll happen if you sever my spirit ties?"_

_Kenma shook his head, "There could be a calamity. The thing that you almost died protecting could be endangered."_

_"What..." You knew right away that this was way too much information, "What was I protecting that I almost died for?"_

_"In most cases," Kenma turned to look at you, "It's family."_

Pulling the sword out, you screamed as Kenma felt the spirit of the onryo fade away into dust. You wouldn't ever be able to see spirits after this, but at the same time, the scars of this entire incident and the truth of your form would permanently be etched into your memory. If Sato-san hadn't tampered with your mother's pregnancy with you, you'd have been born, healthy and warm, but it was the fear of a past tragedy that brought such misery to you in the first place.

You would permanently have to live with the fact that you were chosen to be cursed instead of another.

A sacrifice that you never had to make, yet, you had been bearing it ever since you were a baby.

Kenma knelt to your form before pressing his hand to your cheek, holding you as if you were glass, knowing full well that the following few days would be the most difficult for you. I was nothing but mean to her, he thought, feeling his heart break, but he pressed his lips together before taking a deep breath. I am so, so sorry.

However, when you opened your eyes, you saw no one. Kenma wasn't by your side, he had saved your life and walked away, leaving you behind with fresh scars that you weren't sure would heal. Sato-san and your grandmother approached you, but you brushed them off, now knowing the truth. You weren't sure if you were mad at them, how could you be? Yet, it was incredibly difficult for you to meet their eye.

Right then, you felt the most alone you had ever felt in your life.

The most painful part of this fact was that it had always been this way.


	10. c h a p t e r - t e n

**𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑒𝑛  
𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑦**

*****

Kenma had always been one to believe that silence was the best way to go. The ideal reality would be limited friends and people who never spoke to him and left him alone. He had ideas that festered only when there was silence around, and he appreciated that his volleyball team respected that side of him. Despite being a ghosthunter, the silence was something naturally inclined to someone like Kenma—and he enjoyed every second of it.

That is until _you_ were giving it to him.

Kenma could spot you every time you entered school. It didn't help that the second years had classes near the courtyard, which meant that even if he was in class, he just knew when you came to school. He wasn't sure what the reason was for your heightened visibility, but whatever the reason was (and he surely had an idea of what it was), you were ignoring him.

It started with avoiding his gaze whenever Kenma spotted you. You'd quickly turn away as if you never saw him in the first place, and walk off, leaving him with his thoughts and left to wonder if he did something.

After that, it was when he tried to approach you and how you quickly scrammed from the area as if the mere exchange of words with someone like Kenma would mean the death of you, something that bothered him more than he let out on, something he didn't think would bother him so much especially since it came from you. But, by the way you were expertly dodging every one of his half-advances, and his attempt at knowing how you were doing, Kenma was certain that you didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

And this was what was eating him _alive_. 

Kuroo roughly reminded him of how mean he was to you before he extinguished your ties to the spirit world. You were already suffering from the half-knowledge of a curse that existed, partly because of your family's selfishness, and Kenma had gone and made it worse by snapping at you. Quickly after that, you had discovered the tragic reasoning behind why you were a hanyou in the first place, which could have had devastating results on your mental health. The guilt was leaving him crippled, he couldn't concentrate in class (not that he ever did), and he couldn't play volleyball either. 

It wasn't until he saw you speaking to Kuroo normally did it hit him hard. 

She's doing that because she hates me, he thought before biting his lip and walking away. Kenma normally never bothered if someone hated him, but if this someone was you—he wasn't sure what he was feeling. He knew of your feelings for him (in the past, at least) and he knew he didn't feel the same way, but if he didn't feel the same way, why was he so hurt when he saw you speaking to Kuroo with that same smile you had given him weeks ago?

Eventually, Kenma's curiosity got the better of him and he walked over to Kuroo having nothing to say, but knowing full well that his mind would come up with something as soon as he reached the two of you. You froze when Kenma approached you, but you knew he was going to talk to Kuroo and wasn't approaching you separately. 

"Ah, Kenma," Kuroo said, rubbing the back of his neck, quickly aware of the awkwardness in the air, "Didn't see you there."

"Didn't think something like this would surprise you."

Kuroo then looked at you, and you were busy admiring the ground. Kenma's gaze fell on you before clicking his tongue, which made Kuroo want to wince. The air was too thick for someone like him and if there was some sort of misunderstanding, Kuroo couldn't help but address it.

"Alright," He said, slapping his hands together, "What's with you two?"

Your eyes darted to Kuroo's before widening uncharacteristically. You could feel Kenma's gaze stuck on you, but you pressed your lips together trying to avoid it entirely. It was working until Kenma opened his mouth to talk.

"She's avoiding me and I have no idea why."

You quickly turn to Kenma before frowning dangerously, feeling the seething anger bubble in your chest. You could single-handedly think of various reasons and here he stood, admitting like a fool, that he didn't know why you didn't want to speak to him? You weren't sure if it was because Kenma was just pathetically bad with people or if he genuinely did not think what he did to you was wrong. 

"You have _no idea why_?" You seethed, gritting your teeth, your hands by your side. 

Kenma's eyes widened at your tone, and Kuroo wanted to get the hell out of there. He regretted instigating it, and sticking around; he was sure he'd find this slightly entertaining if it didn't involve his best friend, but that was a wish that he couldn't currently think of.

"You... You gave up on trying to help me when I needed you most!" Your voice broke like a dam holding in emotions for far too long, "You were so mean to me when I came running to you for help! You... You were the one who ignored me first! And... And..." Your face flushed as you recalled why you had slapped him, "You didn't even say a word after you practically changed my entire life."

If Kenma was feeling guilt up until this point, then it had nothing on the emotion he was feeling right then. Bordering on self-hate and absolute regret, Kenma couldn't bear to look at you for what he had done. After severing your ties with that onryo, you were collapsed on the floor of the prayer hall, before Kenma unsheathed his katana and walked away, leaving you with the very same people that had caused the entirety of your problems in the first place. Kenma had left you alone when you needed someone like him the most—and he was certain that the need hadn't died down right then either. It had only been five days since the entire ordeal had occurred, and it wasn't as if in five days you could heal yourself.

Especially not after what he had done.

"I'm..."

Was an apology even going to be enough for what he had done?

You sniffed back tears before stomping your foot and clicking your tongue, a tad bit ashamed for losing your cool and also not regretful that you had finally given Kenma an earful of your thoughts.

You weren't sure when Kuroo had walked away, but he had left you two alone. You also weren't sure if you were grateful for what the volleyball captain had done.

"I..." You couldn't hold back right then, "I liked you... _so much_."

Kenma looked at your face and tried to decipher your emotions. All he could see was pain. 

"Can we please talk somewhere else?" He felt his cheeks flush out of an overwhelmingly strange emotion.

If you agreed to listen to him even after he had been a dick to you, he was sure you had a heart of gold. But sometimes, even if people had gold hearts, pain could mask it away. You shook your head before frowning, the tears flowing from your eyes over your cheeks. Kenma felt the need to wipe them away, but he was scared to touch you.

"Forget it."

You turned on your heel and walked away.

  
*

  
Another thing that Kenma was considerably worse with was apologizing. It wasn't as if he wasn't sure when to do it or how to do it; it was simply the thought that he truly believed an apology wouldn't suffice for the wrong that he had done. 

However, staring at you like a love-lost fool was pulling him to different lengths he had no idea he could go. While he was aware that not liking you back was something he now had to question, he was also doubtful whether your feelings for him had entirely vanished. He already knew what Kuroo would say; go get her. But, there was no 'getting' if you didn't want to be 'got'. 

Therefore, Kenma did what Kenma would never have done. He cornered you one evening after school.

You were a little bit surprised to find him there, staring at you in front of your classroom. While the others in your class were wondering what a second year was doing, you knew you couldn't avoid him if he was being the way he was right then. You sighed before getting up and following him, your heart thumping in your chest as you followed him to the roof of the fourth building. When Kenma turned to you after that, you almost winced at how red his eyes were.

"Are you okay?" You asked without even thinking.

"Don't," He rubbed the back of his neck, "Don't worry about me... I... I don't know what to say to you."

You cocked your eyebrow, "Is that why you brought me out here?"

"Please, hear me out."

"I thought you didn't know what to say to me."

"I know I should apologize, but see... I... I don't think an apology works here. If I were you, I'd never speak to me again. But, I don't want that. I don't want you to never speak to me again. I want you to forgive me if I'm being honest. I don't think I can live with you hating me."

Your eyes widened at his words. 

"I don't hate you..." You mumbled softly before noticing Kenma's ears perk up.

"Even if it's not hate... It's something that reminds me I've wronged you."

"You think an apology won't work? Why?"

Kenma shrugged, "What I did to you was despicable. I wasn't there for you especially after telling you I was. The reason I pushed you away was because..." He thought of the phantom that came looking like you before possessing him, "The phantom that possessed me... It took your form."

You froze.

"What?"

He nodded, "I told you phantoms lie and confuse humans to get what they want. As a ghosthunter, my job is to not let phantoms trick me. But, it took your form and huddled outside the gym, crying, and I... I lost it. I went over to you thinking something was wrong and it wasn't even you, it was..."

"That's how you were possessed..." 

Kenma nodded, and now there was silence. 

"It was wrong of me to take it out on you. Kuroo's been teasing me about you and I let that get to my head. And this entire ordeal on how you became a hanyou is... I should have been there—"

"You still can," You said, face flushed red, "You have a lot to make up for but you still can."

Kenma stared at your face, unaware of what you were getting at.

"You're saying... I can make up for what I did?"

You nodded, "Yeah, I mean... I... I like you,"

When his stomach flipped right then, he felt like screaming. It was the most un-Kenma of him to want to do that, but here he was, feeling the urge to scream. 

"And I know you don't feel the same, but I want you to give me a chance."

It was starting to feel more and more like a lie each time he thought this way.

"What should I do?"

You pressed your lips together, "Instead of an apology, take me out on a date."

If you had agreed to just talking to him, Kenma himself would have asked you out in less than a week. The boy's confusing emotions often put him in a place where he didn't understand what he was feeling right away but given a few days and some introspection, Kenma would immediately understand what he felt. It was a very admirable quality, but that was something he'd discover later.

*

When Kenma took you to an arcade, he was flipping. He wasn't sure if you'd like going to a place like that, but anything else felt too out of character for him and he wasn't sure if he'd be comfortable. However, when you two played Donkey Kong for an hour and a half right then, Kenma didn't even notice how much his cheeks hurt because he was smiling.

Agreeing to head to a cafe to get something to eat, you turned to Kenma before smiling—shooting his heart to the skies.

"I so whooped your ass."

"I let you."

"No! Don't say that!"

Kenma laughed at your whining before once again feeling the urge to hold your hand. He let it pass as quickly as it came before rubbing the back of his neck. 

"That was fun, though. Not going to lie. I never went to an arcade before."

"Thought you wouldn't like it." Kenma said honestly.

His eyes trailed to the magatama bracelet around your wrist before instinctively reaching forward and touching it. You froze for a second before letting him examine the bracelet before turning to you questioningly.

"You don't need it anymore." 

You nodded before sticking a tongue out, "Y-Yeah, I know... I just wanted to keep it for old time's sake, I guess."

He could feel the way his heart moved at your words. Right then, Kenma thought your bashfulness was adorable, a kind of adorable that he wanted to keep to himself. It was funny how he hadn't seen it before. Perhaps he had, and his mind was restricting him from seeing it because of him being a ghosthunter and you being the very thing he had to hunt. But right then, he was Kenma and you were you.

He was Kenma, the high school volleyball player, and you were the girl he was secretly in love with.

He didn't know what came over him but he circled his palm that was near your magatama bracelet and held your hand. You were walking to a cafe with him and your eyes widened at his sudden move; something you welcomed.

"I'm so sorry." He said, a second later, and you turned to him with a smile.

"If you want me to forgive you," You didn't know why you were whispering right then in the middle of Shibuya traffic, "Smile for me."

Kenma looked at you as if you were made of candy. A second later, he smiled, squeezing your hand and your heart flipped. If someone would have told you that he was a second away from kissing you, you'd not have believed them. However, when you stood at the train station, ready to leave, Kenma reached forward and kissed you at the side of your mouth.

Pulling away, he turned to his side before muttering, "I'll... I'll give you the whole thing in due time."

"That won't do."

You pulled his sweatshirt collar before pressing your lips to his, sealing his fate with yours. Kenma's eyes widened as his arms were frozen at his side, and how there were people around that could see him yet that didn't matter. You pulled away a second later, your face flushed red, your heart thumping wildly and Kenma's own reflected the same way, and he smiled.

He placed a hand on your cheek before resting his forehead on yours, smiling at you. It was the strangest turn of events that led him to you, and if there was ever a time he regretted being a ghosthunter, he was sure as glad that it led him to you.

"Don't move but there's a ghost right behind you." Kenma whispered, his lips ghosting over your nose.

"You sure know how to ruin a moment, Kenma-kun."


End file.
